Will Arbery is a Brooklyn-based writer whose work has been published by Better, Thickjam, The Awl, D Magazine, The New Professional, Red Branch, and Hypervocal. He has work forthcoming in All the Thunder and Defenestration. He is also a playwright, whose work has been seen at Dixon Place, The Flea, Tiny Rhino, and Hearth Gods. He's performed at the Kennedy Center, the Invisible Dog, and Dixon Place, and for the Institute for Psychogeographic Adventure and Good Cop/Great Cop. In the fall, he'll be attending Northwestern University, working towards his MFA in Writing for the Stage and Screen. He grew up in Dallas, Texas, the only boy with seven sisters.
I am. Sorry. Am. I am doctor. I know how to make monkeys better. Birds are. Are. Sorry. I thought I heard a crab. This bird is. I do not know about birds. This bird is a puff. Poof. Squeeze. Are there trees inside? With the apes, there are trees. You can swing. Inside. I do not know about the birds. What to do inside. Just puff bodies. I look at this puff, up, down, scared. But I do not know about the birds. So I ask you. Face woman. Tell me about birds. This one. Elucidate. Inside, is it clouds?
But yes sometimes I just sit down and feel completely shitty. Today I feel as tired as I ever have. I want to go to sleep but the thought of ever having to wake up is infuriating. I feel happiest when I’m breathing the same air as someone who loves me for selfish reasons. Or just because I’ve always been around. HA. What it boils down to is that thing James was talking about, at the ferry with the storm coming. Something about counting years as just another way of fucking up. Okay, leave. I have to finish that thingama.
I tried to tell my daughter how little she's going to see me. What I told her is that there are a lot of people who are going to do big things to what you are. I told her that hhuh. It's a big world. I didn't have the words for hhuh. Whatever was good in her life would be short. She would wonder why it mattered at all that I spoke to her once and everyone looked for what was different about her to make her deserve it. Hhuh. Hhuh. I didn't tell her I would forget her face.