But yes sometimes I just sit down and feel completely shitty. Today I feel as tired as I ever have. I want to go to sleep but the thought of ever having to wake up is infuriating. I feel happiest when I’m breathing the same air as someone who loves me for selfish reasons. Or just because I’ve always been around. HA. What it boils down to is that thing James was talking about, at the ferry with the storm coming. Something about counting years as just another way of fucking up. Okay, leave. I have to finish that thingama.